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relationships

A time to say “No!”

Sarah came to counseling astonished that it has taken her fifty years to finally learn how to say “No.” “I’ve always put everyone else first,” she said. “Now I see that I’ve only enabled my husband’s selfishness to flourish.” One of my relatives recently shared a similar story. At 74 years old, she wired up her courage and said, “N…

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How to initiate a difficult conversation

John and Cindy frequently argued about how to handle their finances. John bought the latest electronic gadgets. Cindy clipped coupons and shopped second hand stores. As retirement loomed, Cindy’s anxiety about their financial future grew. Every time she tried to talk with John about saving more money however, he became defensive…

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Are you guilty of verbal assault?

“Reckless words pierce like a sword.” Proverbs 12:18  “With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor” Proverbs 11:9 “The tongue has the power of life and death. Proverbs 18:21 Growing up we all heard the nursery rhyme, “sticks and stones will break our bones but words will never hurt us.” It is a lie. The wounds may be invisible,…

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5 ways to say goodbye to painful emotions

Like many of you, I’m simplifying my life. I’m getting rid of stuff I don’t need, don’t use, can’t take care of or don’t want. Recently I ran across an old letter I’d saved, written by my mother. Throughout my entire life, we had an emotionally destructive relationship. Even as an adult, as a Christian and as a professional counselor,…

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Sarah came to counseling astonished that it has taken her fifty years to finally learn how to say “No.” “I’ve always put everyone else first,” she said. “Now I see that I’ve only enabled my husband’s selfishness to flourish.” One of my relatives recently shared a similar story. At 74 years old, she wired up her courage and said, “N…

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