Every spouse has asked their partner the question: “What do you want for your birthday?” And almost every spouse has received one of these two responses at least once. Either “Oh, nothing.” Or the more common, “I don’t know. I don’t really need anything.”
I recently asked my beautiful wife this question and was on the receiving end of the latter response. She’s right. She doesn’t know, and she doesn’t think she really needs anything (because she is very good at putting her wants aside for the sake of our family).
Her general disposition is easy-going and low-maintenance, but that doesn’t mean I am free from a responsibility to love her in an over-the-top, lavish kind of way. Low-maintenance love doesn’t exist.
For me, love is always be at odds with easy. If your relationship has settled into an easy, low-effort kind of love, let me give you a challenge. Do something big. Maybe it’s a surprise date night. Maybe it’s a shoulder massage just because. Maybe it’s putting your phone in a drawer for an entire evening. Make a splash in your spouse’s heart to let them know they are worth the effort.
It’s not because that person needs it to know you love them. It’s because you want to give that kind of love.