The question of how to forgive has as many different answers as there are hurts we need to forgive. So I can’t give you steps to follow beyond just this one: trust that God’s forgiveness is strong enough to flow through you to whatever situation you need to forgive. Over time God will fill you with love enough to fill the hole that pain may have left.
There’s no way to know when you’ve fully forgiven someone. You might need to go through the process of letting God’s forgiveness flow through you to someone else over and over again for days, weeks, years, or even a lifetime. Forgiveness is seldom a one-time event.
The important thing to remember is the reason we need to forgive others is because God forgave us. We have all done wrong in our life, but God’s grace is amazing. Truly it is! God’s love is deep, and we all need it. Our job is to trust God to fill us with love and grace so it may overflow in us to those who need it from us. It’s not your job to conjure up the strength to forgive on your own. It’s your job to trust that God’s forgiveness is strong enough to flow through you as you say those three difficult words, “I forgive you.”
Remember forgiveness isn’t the absence of pain from past hurts, it’s simply the presence of God’s love and grace to let go of the hold those hurts have in our lives.
I’m praying for you as you open yourself up to forgiving the deepest hurts in your life.