Servant leadership in marriage
By: Connecting Faith
What happens when a wife has a stronger personality type than her husband? How is the husband supposed to lead?
LeRoy and Kimberly Wagner encourage husbands to better love, understand, and relate to their strong wives, rather than withdrawing from the marriage. LeRoy reflects on a time when he believed he wasn’t measuring up to be the man God created him to be.
“Both of us love the Lord. We were committed to ministry. We were surrendered to the authority of His word in our lives. But these little things…these little factors began to build up.”
He describes the destructive forces that were pressing on their marriage from all sides.
“It began to translate into just a great destructive gap in our lives and in our marriage. I felt completely incapable of being the husband and being the man.”
Although Kimberly’s intentions were pure-hearted, LeRoy was still having a difficult time understanding where she was coming from.
“She wasn’t meaning to emasculate me or to tear me down, but I that is the way I responded to it. That’s the way I received it.”
LeRoy adds that lack of prayer was affecting his ability to become the spiritual leader in their marriage.
“This was a big issue in our relationship and it’s the most intimate act between a husband and wife. It is the husband, the wife and their God. There’s nothing that can bring the grace of God more into a marriage than the husband stepping up to the plate and taking that spiritual leadership role.”
God requires husbands to protect, love, and lead their wives on a natural and spiritual level, regardless of who may have the stronger personality. The first step to spiritual leadership, LeRoy says, is for men pray for their wives on a daily basis.
“Even if it’s in a very small way first of taking his wife by the hand and openly praying over her and praying for her. It may be just a couple of minutes, but there is a protection that comes to that wife that she needs.”
LeRoy Wagner has served as a pastor and speaker for more than thirty years. He and his wife, Kimberly coauthored Men Who Love Fierce Women: The Power of Servant Leadership in Your Marriage. Kimberly also wrote Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior.