The connection between fear and control
By: Live the Promise
“We don’t operate on flawless systems; we grow in ways that are messy and require risks and mistakes. We can’t stay static. Instead, we continue to change until the day we die.” An excerpt from You’re Loved No Matter What.
We are constantly changing and growing. Life changes with each year and each season and new friendships, new job opportunities, and new members of our family can quickly emerge. That can lead us to wonder and awe – or it can lead us to fear. Holley Gerth explains how this fear leads to an obsession with control.
“We go through life afraid of a lot of different things, and we think ‘If I can just have complete control, then I would be safe.’ We may not even articulate that to ourselves but that’s what we really want is to be safe. So when we want control, suddenly we’re responsible for everything and everyone. And that is a very stressful way to live… And it’s all an illusion anyway, because we don’t have control.”
When we stop and remember that God has control, and He’s going to take care of us, it releases our need to posture, to assert ourselves, to manipulate others in order to secure ourselves. That truth allows us to rest instead of run ourselves ragged trying to control everyone around us. Changing circumstances doesn’t mean changing acceptance or love by God.
How would things be different if you woke up tomorrow morning, opened your hands, and let God give and take whatever He willed? What if you woke up tomorrow and chose to walk by faith, accepting the events of the day with a quiet assurance that God is working?
When we’re operating out of fear, we also try to know more than we know. Holley speaks to that as well.
“We want to know everything, but as humans that is never going to happen. And if we try to do that, we can end up stuck in this mode of always searching for answers, which can lead us away from trust.”
God is all-knowing and all-loving. In the face of uncertainty, faith says,
“I don’t know everything; You’re the only one who does. But I’m going to believe that today You’re going to let me know what I need to. What I really need to know is not what’s going to happen with my job, or what’s going to happen with this child of mine, or what’s going to happen with any other circumstance in my life. What I need to know that I’m going to be okay no matter what happens, and that I’m still going to be loved no matter what happens.”
Holley Gerth is a best-selling writer, licensed counselor, certified life coach and speaker. She is cofounder of (in)courage, an online destination for women, which received more than one million page views in its first six months. She also reaches out to readers through her popular blog, Heart to Heart with Holley and through a partnership with DaySpring.
Key Scriptures: Romans 5:9
Featured Songs: Diamonds by Hawk Nelson; Do Life Big by Jamie Grace; He Knows My Name by Francesca Battistelli