Boy meets girl.
Boy and girl fall in love.
Boy and girl come to resolution.
It’s a formula that has been around for a hundred years, and every love story is built on this premise. Most marriages start with this same sense of awe and freshness but lose it over time. How can they bring back the newness after a season of boredom?
Focus on the Family’s Dr. Greg Smalley and his wife Erin offer some counsel.
We are actively growing and changing; there’s never a reason for complacency in marriage.
“If you get bored in your relationship, you obviously aren’t watching for things that are changing. I’m totally a different person than the day we got married twenty four years ago. And so is Greg. We have to continue to know who we are. That is a skill of continuing to act curious.” Erin Smalley
What does this look like?
• Ask fun questions
• Ask about their preferences
• Ask how they’re feeling
Monotony can be a dangerous thing because it leads you to look for thrills or energy outside of your marriage. Erin reminds us that marriage is a daily choice.
“It is a choice to rediscover your spouse each and every day.”
Dig in and find out who your spouse is today; don’t assume you know it all.
“It would take one lifetime to truly get to know someone. We’re always changing. My wife is constantly changing, constantly needing new things as we go in and out of different seasons. And seasons can change so rapidly.” – Greg Smalley
The common thread in the changes needs to be your commitment to Christ and your curiosity about each other. Whether you’re newly married, have young children, or are empty-nesters, there is always a transition or new level of intimacy coming. Maintain the belief that your spouse needs something new from you today.
To start your journey back to renewed intimacy, ask your spouse today to finish this sentence: “I feel loved when you…”