Change yourself, change your marriage

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Are you wrestling with disappointment in your marriage? How can a woman come alongside her husband and love him in a Christ-like way? Susie Larson recently spoke with Arlene Pellicane, author of the book 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife. She wanted to encourage women who feel like they’re stuck in a dead marriage and unpack strategies for choosing joy and building a fruitful marriage.

Here are some of the practices Arlene explores:

Own your responsibility for yourself – don’t wait for your husband to ground your happiness. Be HAPPY

H is for hopeful; put your hope in God rather than men

A is for adaptable; learn to be open to change and “roll with your husband’s differences.” Maybe his job will take both of you out of state. Maybe you’ve come to a new church where you don’t have any connections. When we adapt to our husband, he adapts to us. Arlene points out that there’s a give-and-take rhythm to marriage, and we need to flex with the seasons and circumstances of life as a couple.

P is for positive; choose to be more optimistic. Being positive has nothing to do with temperament – Arlene points out that it’s a practice we develop of seeing gratitude and choosing to see the good in life.

P is for purposeful; set goals for your marriage!

Y is for yielded; yield to God and yield to the man God’s brought to you.

Dream with your spouse. Take time to remember what God’s done in your past and what you’re hoping to do together in the future.

Recognize that this is a process – your thought patterns and habits won’t change overnight, but if you keep renewing your mind and looking for the little joys in your relationship, God will renew your love for your spouse.

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Photo: Flickr

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